something's missing.

I like Him. But something's missing. I don't feel the spark i used to feel when i first saw him. Maybe's that's cos I barely see him anymore. I hate how the timing is always off. I hate how i miss him. I hate how I get so damn happy when things remind me of him, but yet so sad that I don't get to see him, himself. I hate how it's fading. But i don't want it to. That's why i always remind myself why i first fell for him. Honestly, I, myself, don't even know what the hell that is. Everything's so confusing. I don't wanna just throw all this away. All the freaking effort and time i put into this vague imagination, I don't want this emotion to stop what's been doing to me for so long. There's been plenty of signs telling me to let it go. Like today, everyone was there, except for his stupid ass. But NL kept on telling, me 'oh they don't hang out together ALL the time' but he would usually go on such an amazing day like today. &today, me and NL were talking about how he's not a total dick.. lol. She said that even if he was, he wouldn't be nice enough to say 'happy birthday' to me LOL. but everyone says happy birthday!
I hate how i always set my expectations and hopes up so damn high. Eventually, everything will come crashing down on me. In the end, that's always going to happen. But being the optimistic person I am, I have to do that. Setting hopes high and pretending it will happen, is basically what's keeping me all together. Without all of that tape, i would just be some lifeless rag doll, waiting to be thrown away.




He's missing.

Love struck

It's been three days since the last time i saw you. But why does it feel like three weeks?
So I was talking to Jobo about my feelings and stuff towards Him. She says it's love... but I say it's like :D. And she said it's with the wrong guy. Yeah, he might have a shitload of flaws, but who doesn't. Some people's flaws are much more noticeable than other's. People say that he's a dick. But like NL said, behind every jerk is a nice person. Like, I think about him, a lot :X. Stupid teenage love. I don't know what to doooo. I think I'm just gonna do that two months thing. But a lot can change in two months..

"I've been spending all my time
just think about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm falling for you."♥

sophomore yearr

Time passes by way too quickly.
School's almost here. Here i come, sophomore yearrr! Holy shit i gotta feeelin' that I'm not gonna be handballing for quite a while. I need to boost up my grades. My avg. needs to be a 90+, or I'm not gonna get into BU :[ or any good college. Gotta get crackalackin' lol :D. Gosh, and the PSATs are right around the corner. and then comes junior year. mad shit to doooo. I'm gonna be mad stressed out, argg.

August is over- We The Kings

This summer pasted by way too fast. I guess it's cos of everything happening so sudden.
Ever since my last birthday, i always thought that i was going to have a much better this year. And when it did come to my birthday celebration thingy, it was worse than last. Barely any of my close friends went, yet people i barely knew went instead. But i had a good time =) haha ice skating in the summer=♥ :D. But whatever, it's just a birthday, right? I mean, i'm going to have so much more in my life.. whatever.
This whole week, I've been on a million roadtrips, going to Pennsylvania to Boston, and coming back home at like 12 at night, and taking off at 6 in the morning. I love roadtrips and all, but it's gonna get mad boring if i keep on going on one! lol Cos of the roadtrips, i haven't like, legit handball for like two consecutive weeeks! Ahha, so i was playing today, and expecting to be so much worst, i kinda got better? Well, at my serves that is. Weird. Oh i finally got me a coach wristlettt :) i want another one rofl.
So yeahh, summer 2009. i've learned a lot this summer :D besides SAT stuff haha. And i've experienced a lot as well. I hate how it passed by so fast.I forgot to take pictures this summer! :[ LOL. ahaha i haven't camera whored for a long amount of time.
Oh yeah, i still like Him. ahaha. Today me and NL had a talk with his amigo. but he wanted to talk to NL alone? i didnt really get that, cos she was gonna tell me about it afterwards.. but okay? haha. butyeahh, istilldon'tknowwhattodo.
Ahh, Summer09. I'm never going to forget this summer.
But I can't wait for Summer 2010 =) Yay I'm going to Japannn. But i hope i have my birthday here at New Yawk Citayyy. What I'm gonna do for next birthday? I'm gonna be chillin' like a villian, thas' what =)
The title of this post thingy reminds me of last summmer, haha :D and yes, it's a song. white people music LOL :D

beach it upp

So yesterday was around a blazing 100 degrees. That's what i call real summer weather! :)
Being the crazy people we are, me and NL decided to go to Cropsey. To handball. In the blazin' sun. Amy and Micheal were there as well, and we all waited for NL. I swear, they are the cutest couple everrrr lol. Fifteen minutes later NL finally showed, her amiga came along. Micheal called her crazy white girl LOL. When we got to the handball courts, we actually saw people! LOL. But it was like Tat and them. Me and NL handballed for like ten minutes max, and decided to leave. Cos she wanted to go to the beach. I haven't been to a beach for quite a whilee lol. I hate how sand gets everywhere and shitt. But whatever, I'm going to have to go sometime. So we went to the beach; me, NL, Amy, and Fiona. Micheal went home to change first. Holy shit, if i didn't know any better, i would have thought that Fiona swung the other way LOL. She's mad homooo lol. Reminds me of KOaster :D But Fiona is like off the charts lmao. And she's mad funny haha. So we wentto Coney Island, and it wasn't as pact as we thought it would be. I was thinking to myself, damn, i should've invited him lol =/. It was really fun there, but Amy kept on kicking sand water onto me -_-. we stayed for only a while, cos everyone else bailed on us. Plus we had no blanket lol. Omg Fiona kept on pointing out the saggy stuff in the beach LOL. and she was like, oo babies♥ LOL. She's funny, i like her :D Yesterday was a pretty fun day, but it would have been so much better if he was there lol :x

Happy camper :)

I'm happppppy :) kinda.
I don't really think Him and Her are going out.. lol That's a +1 for me :D. Should I make a move? roflcopter. eye dee kay. I've been having those good, happy signs again. That's goood.


okay soo, i think people who read my blogs should know things about me, so:
1. Hi i'm anna :)
2. I can be really random at times.
3. Green feeeen!♥
4. i've been liking this kid, but i think he's soon-to-be/is going out with my friend. :[
5. SamThang thinks that i should screw the kid over and look for someone else, lol
6. I strongly believe in signs. Not like those traffic ones -_- like those mental ones, yah digg?
7. i love the smell of fresh cut grasss
8. The smell of weed annoys me.
9. JB♥ But NO, i don't feen over them like 24/7 :)
10. Definitely not a social butterfly; i can be realllll shy at times
11. i dislike rap haha.
12. i've had many chances to meet famous people, but i never took them :[
13. it bothers me how everyone's feening over korean bands and stuff. cos everyone's talking about 2pm and kimbum or whatever, and i'm all like, huhhhh? who are theyy? i mean, WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL TIME LOW♥?
14. When asian boys put on a gallon of gel on their hair, it bugs me, lol.
15. i'm a grammar freak :x
16. i laugh at the stupidest and corniest things.
17. make me laugh, and i'll love you forever(:
18. i hate how i make things so damn obvious.
19. when i text too fast, my phone freezes on me for like 20 minutes :[
20. there's a reason behind everything i do.
21. i hate how i make the simplest things so complex.
22. a true manhattan +brooklyn kid :D. i miss the ues.
23. i regret a ton of things i've doneeee
24. my ears aren't peirced haha (:
25. i like you =)

optimism is key

"Too many of us stay walled up because we are afraid of being hurt. Afraid we care too much, for fear that the other person doesn't care at all."
I've had people IMing me, going like, 'oh i read your blog, you okay?' and stuff like that. Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. I'm trying to be optimistic now. And see where it goes from there. (12:04:50 AM): always be opstimistic, my brotha. lol =) WooHoo! is awesomee. :D But like, I'm still kinda overwhelmed though. whatever, life still goes on.
I miss hanging out with the people. It was so fun with themm. Now it's like. Dead. Not really, but you get what i mean. Everything's falllin' aparttt. People are breaking up and trying to get with their exes. Ahem KOaster knows what I'm talking about LOL :D. But new relationships are forming, like Him and Her, and NL and Leslie. Ehh, whatever. It's life. Always be optimistic! :D
But like, even if i try real hard to be optimistic, I always have that feeling near the back of my heart. That feeling of regret. I'm gonna try to stop liking Him, but idk if i can. You can't stop emotions. They chase after you, and will eventually get to you.

love sucks.

He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. And it's my friend.

And the worst part is? KOaster was the one who told me about it, and she doesn't even know them like thatt. I wonder how long they've been together.. On Friday when i was taking that test, i had to write an essay on what would you do: Make a bad decision, or no decision at all? When i was writing that essay, it got me thinking, about telling him. I was actually planningto tell him the next time we saw each other.. Change of plans i guess. But honestly, when I heard about it, i wasn't really that surprised. I knew that somewhere along that road, if I didn't speak up or shit, and something like that was going to happen. Also, I kinda knew that something was going on between them two. But I shook that feeling off, like just fallen snow. I just can't believe how I found out... =/
So KOaster's ex, which is also his friend, wanted to go camping or some shit like that. KOaster wanted me to go along with her, and when she told me who was going, she said, +His girl. When she said that, the first person that popped up in my mind was Her. But I was thinking to myself, maybe it's just a typo or some shit like that. Maybe it's 'Tman's girl.. But it wasn't. It was her. I could feel my heart being flushed down the toilet. That point, i was really at awe. Honestly, i didn't really think she likedhim like that. I thought she was just.. flirting around. guess she wasn't. I'm sad :[ Love sucks.
I've been having those "what if" thoughts wandering around my mind. I think i should've told him. But i thought it would make things.. weird. Idk. The right time passed, and I didn't even know it. I suck at this thing called love.

Oh yeah, I burned my hand cooking today. NOT intentionally lol :)

Cruisin' around

Today was a pretty fun day :).
So i had to take a test at school this morning, and i was late. Like usual. Finally finished the test at 12, then went to HK Tea with NL. Afterwards, we went to Cropsey to handball. The usual people were there. But when i was glancing around, i hear someone go like, "What bitch? wtf you looking at?" When i look at where the voice was coming from, i see Kenn -_-. I wasn't even looking at him -_-. We handballed for a while, and I finally got to play Michely. People said that she was 'pro' and all that, but when i played her, I was like, um.. okay? Turns out she was going easy on me -_-. I wanted to have a serious game with her! But then the other people wanted to play, so I was like, okay, sureee. They ended up playing 3point knockout, instead of 5, haha. But then Luis and the other kid, played a game instead. The other kid was reallllllly good. Like bamm! LOL. After a while, Kenn and Tat decided to leave. Shortly after they left, the people were like, "Let's go to Wendy's!" Being the lazy people we are, Henry(?) drove us there. It was only a block, LOL. HIS CAR IS MADDD NICE. LOL. So it was me, NL, Henry, Luis and Elmo? in the carr. Little Kenneth? wanted to get into the car as well, but Henry made him walk, lol. We were cracking jokes and what not in there, it was madd fun, lol. We were also singing :D lmao! So when we got to Wendy's, we all got there around the same time, whatever. So the guys ordered stuff to eat, and me and NL talked and whatever. We ended up staying at Wendy's for like, anhour, just chatting and stuff. It was actually very amusing, LOL. So NL took Henry's pink umbrella from his car, and we were all tryingto open it, but it wouldn't budge. So the guys tried.. stroking it, LMAO. So homo. But yeahh, it was pretty funn. So when we left Wendy's, we all got into the car, surprise surprise lol. It was madddd crowded! Henry dropped me off at 86/Bayparkway. We said our goodbyes and suchh. Then dropped NL home. They were gonna go shoot pool afterwards, at 8 ave. I wanted to go! :x But i had to go out to chinotownn. Overall, the day was pretty fun and amusing :) I have to say, it's been one of the most fun days of summer'09.

take one!

So i thought i'll create a blog 'cos i'm always so damn bored. I actually had this one for a while, like back in September? But i barely used it; only for my English homework, lol. Apparently my english teacher likes posting homeworks on blogs..
Blogging seems like an online diary to me, lol. Had one back in the sixth grade, haha. Xanga was like, the thing back then. Then it turned to Myspace. Then Facebook. The ooVoo, and now, back to blogging. Teens get too damn emotional, and then they go back to blogging to vent out their feelings. Guess I'm one of those emotionally challenged teens? lmao
When it comes to writing or whatever, i talk about a lot of nonsense. I'm funky like that. NL says I'm bringing that word back, LOL. She makes me el oh el all the time. She's mad funky :) and random! Today when we were walking to Cropsey, she was like, "eh oh el. haha. heehee" like outta nowhere. We've been spending a lot of time together this summer, like almost everyday :O We're always so retarded together, cracking "that's what she said" jokes in mid-sentence. LOL. yeahhhh, we cool(: She saidthat we're like "sisters" cos we always spend so much time together, haha. sureee, whatever floats yah' boat :)
kiddddding! we're mad tight. Like skinny jeans on a hot day lol(: